Flightless Bird

This is for my future self. To the moon child who's reminiscing about all the cancelled plans, torn ticket stubs, hiding from the storms, waiting nervously at the train station to finally try break free from my restricted freedom. The irony is that I work every single day to help build portals for people to travel, but never did I ever get a chance to take a decent vacation. A sweet soul who's overworked, overstressed, and overwhelmed all the time. I just want to feel alive, marvel at life around me by getting lost in the hustle n' bustle of the city to only find myself. Not even my sub-conscious mind is aware of the fact of how much I earn for this more than my favorite activities such as dancing, painting, reading, and listening to music. The universe has a funny way of cancelling my plans. I thought the 7th time was the charm, guess not. It breaks my heart to unpack my bags still sitting on my bedroom floor, when I spent more than a week planning my every move in the city, even though I told myself it will be a spontaneous trip. My biggest fear is getting lost, loosing time, and getting anxious since I have a terrible sense of direction. But I decided to embrace it, make the leap, and go on my mini adventure. I don't want to be like Rapunzel and wait for a prince. I'm going to tie my waist length wavy black hair into a messy bun, put on a dusty backup, wear worn-out sneakers, and chart my own course like a wolf woman. Should I be thankful to fate for saving me by arresting me to my normalcy? All I ever wanted was to break free from gravity, but more than ever I want to break the shackles which chain me to my humdrum existence. I don't envy my friends for taking luxurious trips with their companions, I just want to give myself a fighting chance to sit, breathe and tread a foreign path alone. I want to gain a fresh perspective towards life, hit pause on all my responsibilities, and relax. Dealing with parents who never want me to step of the house to friends who shame me for never travelling I sit in silence patiently waiting for the golden hour to transcend through time. From dreaming of becoming an astronaut, to deciding to travel the world to just wanting to be an enthusiastic city tourist I live in my thoughts. I admire you for still trying just one more time, for pushing past the self-doubt. I'm almost there, so close yet so far. Is searching for the next destination my only destiny?